#149 - Side Effects
This is a thriller film about a woman who is suffering from depression and suicidal tendencies. She gets some new meds from her shrink that fix all of her problems, except one of the side effects is sleepwalking. One night she ends up stabbing her husband to death while sleepwalking and is arrested.
After that tragedy, fingers start to get pointed at who’s to blame. Is the pharmaceutical at fault? or her doctor who prescribed? or is she just a killer?
Shit starts to get a little crazy from that point on. The movie moves really slowly at first but you have to stick it out for a minute and then it gets interesting in a hurry. I wouldn’t recommend watching this late at night if you’re sleepy cause you might not make it through the first 30 minutes.
It’s worth it though.
Rating: 7.5 out of 10
I’m embedding the full movie below. The link may not last long though so YMMV
#148 - Dirty Wars
(watching this interview will probably let you know if you’re interested in seeing this documentary or not)
After watching the aforementioned interview with author/director/investigative journalist Jeremy Scahill on HBO earlier this year, it piqued my interest in checking out his Dirty Wars book/movie on US foreign policy and our industrial military industrial complex.
At the heart of the matter the documentary explores the fucked up methods the U.S uses to kill people with little regards for collateral damage or due process. America’s military is doing more harm than good all in the name of “fighting terrorism” so politicians in Washington can look like they’re doing something useful and keeping people happy. We’ve created 20x more enemies with our behavior than we would have had if we’d taken a different approach that didn’t involve guns blazing.
It’s pretty disgusting all the way around.
Here’s the full documentary if you want to watch it.
Rating: 8 out of 10
#147 - Man Of Steel
This isn’t a review. It’s a rant. I have to discuss a mild spoiler that is not integral to the movie and probably won’t ruin anything for anyone.
Superman’s Daddy’s death scene was the most infuriating and pointless thing I’ve seen in a film this entire year. I was really just staring at this shit happen like, “REALLY?… REALLY!!!?!?!?!”
Superman had already spent years performing real nigga acts of heroism all around the country without a disguise like it was no problem. But when it comes time to save his stepfather who is about to die. He just stands there and watches and LETS him die when he could have zipped over there and saved him in 2 seconds.
It literally made zero sense.
Superman’s stepfather wanted to die because he was probably sick of his wife’s pussy after all those years. When you’re trapped in a loveless marriage you will run into the middle of a category 5 tornado and tell your alien stepson not to exert 3% of his energy to save you.
That scene was a total crock of shit.
The rest of the movie was cool doe.
Rating: 7.4 out of 10
Rating If That Death Scene Never Happened: 8 out of 10
#146 - Starship Troopers
Starship Troopers is a cheesy, badly acted, glorified B-movie…. but it very well may be in my top 35 movies of all time. It’s one of the rare times where you’ll find a bad film that is self aware, it knows exactly what it is and what its supposed to do. As if the movie knows how people will receive it and they’re in on the joke too. You get to see kick ass action sequences with giant bugs but you also get the criticism of America’s propaganda and brainwashing of its citizens through blind patriotism.
Random Dope Shit About This Movie
- Co-Ed shower scenes with that Black girl who had big titties that sagged the perfect amount. They weren’t fake and perky but they weren’t swaying around her waist either.
- Dizz was Ronda Rousey before Ronda Rousey was Ronda Rousey. Dizz was a down ass bitch but Rico was too busy chasing rich pussy who didn’t want him.
- The propaganda videos were excellent
- Hank from Breaking Bad in this movie and he pretty much plays the exact same character.
- THE BLACK DUDE WHIPPING THE BLONDE WHITE BOY LIKE KUNTA KINTE IN ROOTS
Rating: 8.5 out of 10
#145 - White House Down
I had absolutely zero intentions of ever watching this, but during a moment of boredom I happened to come across a bootleg copy on YouTube so I just went for it. Being that the premise is exactly the same as Olympus Has Fallen, I didn’t really feel like I needed to waste another two hours of my life.
But here we are nonetheless.
This is one of those movies where you just have to turn your brain off and enjoy it. If you choose to watch this through the lens of logic and common sense you’ll only frustrate yourself. The acting is below average, the CGI kind of sucks, and although it isn’t oozing with xenophobic rah-rah patriotism like Olympus Has Fallen…… some of the shit in this movie is BEYOND cheesy.
With all of that said, if you just wanna watch some dumb shit thats entertaining then this will hold you down. It’s not as good as Olympus Has Fallen but it is a “funner” movie if that makes sense.
Rating: 6 out of 10
#144 - Curse Of Chucky
I was thrilled when I found out they were making a new Chucky movie but when they announced the news that it was straight to video, there was a slight damper on my hopes because I was afraid of what the quality of the film would be like. My lone hope was the fact that the people behind the original Child’s Play films were making this one too, so hopefully they wouldn’t let it turn into a piece of shit.
To my disappointment, some parts of the movie DEFINITELY screamed “this is a B-Movie”, shit made me cringe. Especially when they went into explaining the backstory of Charles Lee Ray. Everything looked so unintentionally campy and the actor had a bad wig on.
Although they completely ditched the comedic aspects from Seed Of Chucky and Bridge Of Chucky, I still didn’t find this movie to be scary whatsoever. There were no jump scares or creepy suspense building that you’d get from an AAA quality horror film.
It wasn’t terrible, it was just disappointing because I’m a big Chucky fan.
Also, the death scenes were not creative or entertaining to watch at all.
You can skip it.
Rating: 5 out of 10
#143 - Malcolm X
Easily and comfortably in my top 6 movies of all time. I’ve watched it at least a dozen times, if not more. Just so happened to come on the other day and it’s one of those films where once I start watching it then I have to let it finish.
The scene that gets me every time is when the nation is trying to get Malcolm to be quiet about The Honorable Elijah Muhammad fucking all those women and Malcolm asks Brother Baines “who needs the nutmeg now?”
And then Brother Baines looks at him like, “nigga we gone clap you if you don’t be quiet”
and then Malcolm looks back at him like, “do what you gotta do homie”
Hits me in my feels every time.
Basically all the scenes between Malcolm and Baines were dope. The shower scene where they meet, the dictionary scene, etc
Rating: 10 out of 10
#142 - Color Outside The Lines: A Tattoo Documentary
Watch Full Movie On YouTube: http://youtu.be/WsmmjfI6cpM
Is it possible to be a tattoo snob without actually having any tattoos? At least 7 times out of 10 I see someone else’s tat I think to myself, “that shit is terrible” but outloud I’m like, “oh yeah thats coo” or I deflect and ask them a question “how much did that cost?”… anything that allows me to not tell them what I really think.
I would recommend this documentary to anyone interested in Black art and not that coon ass bullshit they were airing on VH1 in recent times. I’m no artist but I can appreciate the in depth look into the stories of artists, and techniques and the differences between tattooing on Black skin vs. White skin and all that jazz.
Some parts of the movie were kind of slow and dragging but overall it was dope.
Rating: 6.8 out of 10
#141 - Pain & Gain
Fuck what the negative reviews say, this movie was great and I think it’s worth your time. The tone of the film and the dark comedy they chose to use was brilliant. I laughed throughout the whole thing just because of how OD absurd it was. Fuckery on top of fuckery on top of more fuckery…. this movie was a clusterfuck of epic proportions and I enjoyed every minute.
I know The Rock is a big action star but IMO his comedic timing is his best asset on screen.
Rating: 8 out of 10
Note: If you aren’t familiar with the true story behind this movie, I would suggest waiting until after you watch the movie to read about it otherwise it’s going to ruin it.
#140 - Now You See Me
I was excited to watch this because I fucking LOVE movies about magicians. The Prestige is in my top 20 movies of all time, I also loved The Illusionist. I like watching magic in general.
Now You See Me works on so many levels, but a lot of this film left me frustrated .85% of the film is great and the other 15% is cheesy shit that makes you roll your eyes. It has the stench of the “MTV generation” style all over it.
Theres a fight scene in the movie where this kid uses “magic” to battle Mark Ruffalo in a physical altercation…. it was so bad. He’s throwing playing cards at him like ninja stars and shit……… I was like “oh my god please make this stop”.
I know it sounds like I’m shitting on the movie………. but it really is entertaining. The bad parts just so happened to be REALLY bad. Overall I liked it but it felt like they wasted a lot of potential. It could have been a lot more than it was.
Rating: 7 out of 10
#139: Star Trek: Into Darkness
I know almost absolutely nothing about Star Trek. I knew the very very basic shit like Captain Kirk is the leading guy and Spock is his homie and has pointy ears, and that there is some guy named Scotty that beams people.
Other than that….. I went into this movie knowing nothing whatsoever and I had my doubts on whether or not I could find it enjoyable since I’m not familiar with the Star Trek universe.
I found myself pondering things like:
- If Spock doesn’t experience emotion, can he enjoy sex with the smoking hot Black chick that he’s fucking with?
- Why did they never do the little hand symbol that Pharrell stole from them? Very disappointing.
- The beginning of Captain Kirks story in this movie was very similar to Paul Walker in the movie Battleship (since we’re on the subject, I thought Battleship was a better movie than this). “Talented hothead doesn’t deal with authority well and keeps letting loved ones down”
- I wanted to see Captain Kirk fuck some green bitches with 6 arms. It did not happen
It was aiiiight.
On a sliding scale of futuristic action movies it was not as good as Pacific Rim or Battleship. Battleship was kind of campy but it was self-aware and played off of that. I wasn’t particularly wowed by anything, the story, the cgi, the characters, etc.
Rating: 6.7 out of 10
#138 - Clear History
To be honest once I saw Larry David in that terrible wig in the trailers it made me not want to watch this, but I went against my better judgement and gave it a shot anyways.
The first quarter of the movie seems like a gauntlet of Larry David bits, if you’re familiar with his work you know what I’m talking about. It seemed like less of a movie and more of a vehicle to set up various Larry David jokes (the outlets, the shampoo, the silverware, etc).
The second half of the film starts to drag and I really didn’t give a shit about what happened, I was just ready for it to end while being slightly entertained at the same time (if that makes sense).
There are some genuinely funny parts but overall its pretty mediocre.
Rating: 6 out of 10
#137 - The Conjuring
Shout out to the people who told me to watch this movie.
If you’ve read any of my previous horror movie reviews then you already know that my expectations are usually basement-low. Scary movies are an exercise in frustration because the acting usually sucks, the plot has holes, and the characters are made to be dumb as rocks for the sole purpose of moving the story along. I’m about to exaggerate, but a typical horror movie puts blind, deaf, and dumb sheep in a room and we sit around waiting on them to be slaughtered because they are incapable of making sound decisions.
The Conjuring doesn’t really follow that tradition.
The story was good, the acting was good, the characters were not perfect but everyone seemed of average intelligence. There were no moments where I heavily rolled my eyes in frustration and muttered something about “stupid white people in scary movies”. I wasn’t scared of anything but its definitely a creepy movie.
Also the camera work and the steadycam shots were fantastic. For a horror movie this was excellent.
Rating: 8 out of 10
#136 - Tell No One
It’s a French murder mystery/thriller that was recommended by some dude who works for Netflix in an interview I read yesterday (so yes, there are subtitles). It’s about this guy trying to find out who killed his wife 8-years after the murder.
As with most foreign films, the pacing is slower and the details are much more subtle than they are in American cinema. If you don’t mind those things I recommend checking this joint out. I didn’t see the plot twists coming and I was pretty engrossed in the movie when it got to the climax.
Rating: 7.8 out of 10
#135 - Life
Had to watch this again yesterday after talking about it, I hadn’t seen it in a long time. So many memorable moments:
- The cornbread fight
- Whites only pies
- The black baby scene
- Claude being a waiter in the Boom Boom Room
- Bernie Mac’s whole character
Rating: 8.2 out of 10