Anonymous said: what's the weirdest type of porn you've watched? Like any kind of weird fetish or anything.

Anonymous said: How long was your longest relationship?

4 years

Anonymous said: Hey I don't know if you've answered this before but do you know if there's a way to download ebooks for free?

sign up. 

Anonymous said: Answer me this. Say tomorrow you get framed for a string of murders in your area. You are found guilty but you get 2 options. You go to a maximum security prison where you see day light for one hour a day in solitary confinement, and you will be released on your 60th birthday. Anybody important in your life is now gone, but you live a healthy life until you pass away from natural causes at the age of 74. Or you walk free, but become crippled at 32 and then die from ebola at 40. Choose your fate.

I’ll take the prison time and write a letter to The Innocence Project every day of my life asking them to help me. 

Anonymous said: I already went back and checked out your previous posts, but I was just wondering what if any new apps you've discovered since the last one?

I don’t know about new, but some apps that I’ve downloaded recently that I like are 500 Firepaper and Focus. 

500 Firepaper is an app that will automatically update your wallpaper every 5 minutes with a beautiful photo (you can choose longer intervals if you want, but I like seeing a new wallpaper every time I open my phone). You choose whatever categories you like and let the app do the rest.

Focus is an app for when you’re handing your phone to another person and you don’t want them scrolling all through your gallery finding nudes and shit. You pre-select what pictures you want them to see, then hand them the phone. They won’t be able to scroll to anything else or close the app without a pin.

Anonymous said: I need some songs for my gym playlist. Any suggestions?

Nirvana - Breed
Lil Jon - Throw It Up feat. Pastor Troy
Nas - Made You Look
System Of A Down - Cigaro
Freeway & Jake One - Throw Your Hands Up

Anonymous said: King my girlfriend luvs shopping, but she is a horrible dresser. Don't get me wrong she is fine/sexy. I think she just buys everything she sees modeled on tumblr & i.g And walks out the house. Even her dvd collection sucks. I try to give little hints

lol @ the dvd collection

You: “Baby you wanna watch this new documentary, it was nominated for an Oscar and…”

Her: “I wanna watch Freddie Got Fingered”

You: “I understand but this documentary has been recommended by everyone and”

Her: “Freddie”

You: “Siskel and Ebert said…”

Her: “Got”

You: “It just looks really ….”

Her: “Fingered.”

Anonymous said: bitch i asked you motherfucking nicely to give me some cool blogs who are like yours to follow and you ignored my question goddamn

Ain’t nobody else’s blog like mine. That’s why I didn’t answer. 

Anonymous said: I think ol girl wanna fuck mane. She's desperate, talking to herself like that scene in pootie tang where he slides the girl a bowl of milk to keep her from scratching at his door.

She actually looked very pretty in her avatar. 

It was too bad her mind wasn’t so attractive. 

Anonymous said: Hey playa, you posted this link to some website a couple weeks ago, they were selling refurbished brand name tv's. Can you hook it up with a link?

I don’t remember, sorry. 

Anonymous said: That imbecile has the biggest case of Smart Dumb Nigga Syndrome mixed with a few episodes of I Watch and Believe in YouTube Conspiracy Theories.

I’m telling you. 

It’s really sad. 

Anonymous said: What are your opinions on immigration? Now I know a lot of people say that immigrants built this country but I'm talking about Asian immigration. Leaving behind their over developed country, coming americas and rarely employing different races??

I like how this question started off pretty benign and unassuming and slowly devolved into you revealing your own prejudices. 

"What do you think about immigration?"

"Actually, what do you think about Asian immigration"

"To be more specific, what do you think about those dirty fucking Asians sticking to themselves?"

Anonymous said: i dreamt about you last night.. i dreamt you were really short and had whoopi goldberg hair. your face looked like it got hit once by a flat shovel. It really fucked with me man, its gonna take a while to get that image of you out of my head.

I’m rich doe

Anonymous said: Damn u really just told ole girl to fuck a married man

I like how you put the onus on her to maintain the sanctity of someone else’s marriage. The husband is the one going around the office telling people how he wants to fuck his receptionist. 

When you’re in a relationship you set the standard for how other people treat your relationship. If you make it known that you’re faithful, then other people are going to see that and respect your relationship accordingly.

If you make it known that you don’t give a fuck, then other people aren’t going to give a fuck either. 

Why should his receptionist respect a union that he doesn’t even respect himself?

I don’t see any reason to play the respectability politics game with a joke of a marriage. 

Anonymous said: Haters wanna haaaate, lovers wanna loooove, I dont even waaaaant, none of the above I want to pee on youuuuu!