Tales Of A Square Nigga: Fake Sizzurp Edition

I think this happened before I started this blog….

As many of you know, I don’t drink alcohol or consume any illicit substances whatsoever. I’ve only taken prescription medication once in my life, and I vomited 15 minutes later because it was too strong for me. 

So basically my body isn’t used to handling anything whatsoever. I have no tolerance for anything. 

So at the time I used to go to this lil hood ass liquor store after I got off the train on the way to work. Usually I get gatorade but this day I saw some “Sizzurp Soda”. I was feeling adventurous so I picked it up and went to work. 

So I opened this bitch up and drank it while I ate candy at my desk around 10:30am. I assumed it was just grape soda and the rest of the shit about “relaxation” was just a gimmick. 

By 11:30 I was so fucking drowsy I had to leave and go home. Ya boy was sitting at his desk looking like Weekend At Bernies.  My co-workers were laughing at me and kept bringing it up for the rest of the month. 

I went home and slept til like 7pm. 

  1. sweetpolynesiansauce reblogged this from kingjaffejoffer
  2. jerzeegriot reblogged this from kingjaffejoffer and added:
    This reminds me of Lazy Larry’s Brownies. I might have to try that tho.
  3. nickmaniwa said: You need a tag for all your stories man. I die at every single one.
  4. ratchetivity reblogged this from kngshxt
  5. dominatingtouch reblogged this from kingjaffejoffer and added:
    This shit had me dying. I dont like alcohol eithrr
  6. latinboi1da reblogged this from kingjaffejoffer
  7. wes-eskimo reblogged this from kngshxt
  8. overalldopeness said: I had one of those, and I never would have imagined i’d be put my ass like that. What bothers me is that I have a high tolerance for a lot of stuff.
  9. rickysuavemami said: why?
  10. shehasboobs reblogged this from kngshxt
  11. circa-eightyfour said: Lmao, I had a similar situation with that Bob Marley drink
  12. suckonthedickimashark reblogged this from kingjaffejoffer and added:
    I want it
  13. doc-how reblogged this from purpbanga and added:
    LMAO! I passed on that ‘Sizzurp’ cuz I thought...gonna be some bullshit… I may just give...
  14. msmelodyseauxsweet reblogged this from purpbanga and added:
    lightweights. LMFAO
  15. chef-negro-ardee said: I dont understand why people wanna walk around drowsy and shit
  16. lovetidalwave said: you have THE best stories lol
  17. purpbanga reblogged this from kngshxt and added:
    bolded for truth i chugged it cause i was hella thirsty…20 mins later i was gone
  18. kngshxt reblogged this from kingjaffejoffer and added:
    That Bob Marley Mellow Mood had me out cold, B. Don’t feel bad.
  19. kingjaffejoffer posted this