King Jaffe Joffer

Hey Dipshit, this is how you make animated .gifs with photoshop

I see a lot of people on this website saying they would make .gifs if they only knew how or had the patience. Which is funny because you have the patience to answer 475 anonymous messages about your favorite sex positions you attention whoring ingrate.

This method will have you making gifs in under 4 minutes once you get the hang of it.

Some people use sites like Gif Boom, but those are for knuckle dragging apes who have given up on life. You don’t want to be that do you? Of course not, so follow along.

STEP ONE: Learn How To Rip The God Damned YouTube Videos To Make Your .gif
And try to find a video that has good quality for crying out loud. Nobody wants to see a fuzzy gif that looks like shit. You’ve already disappointed your parents, so try not to disappoint the internet too. You cocksucker.

I recommend Chrome YouTube Downloader. Once you install that, a nifty little download box will appear below every video on Youtube. Choose the highest quality and download.

Update: A few of you I-was-14-in-the-sixth-grade ass niggas have told me Chrome won’t allow you to install the above plugin. Click this link for instructions on how to bypass that.

Cunt: But Perv, I use Firefox, what do I use to download vids?
Perv: I hope you get AIDS.

Step 2: Now that you have downloaded your video, let’s download photoshop.

Cunt: But Perv, don’t I need money to download photoshop?
Perv: You’ve asked two questions now, I’m impressed you’ve opened your gullet for a reason other than inhaling pork cracklins you fat whore, just listen to me.

Here are free downloads of portable photoshop CS2, CS3, CS4, and CS5… Just pick one. You don’t have to install anything on your computer and you don’t need a serial number.

Download the fucking program and unzip the contents into a folder. What’s that? You don’t know how to unzip files? It’s 2012 are you fucking serious? Use winrar motherfucker. Install winrar, right click on the photoshop file, and select “extract to here”.

After you do that I’m going to find Simple Jack so he can teach you how to tie your shoes too.

Cunt: But Perv, I use a Mac, Winrar isn’t available for Macs
Perv: Michael J. Fox should have ran over your mother in back to the future to prevent your birth.

Step Three: Now you have your video, and you have photoshop, let’s open that motherfucker up.

Click the God damned button that says “File”, Import, and then Frames To Layers

A box is going to pop up asking you to select the video file we downloaded from YouTube earlier.

Sometimes your video won’t be visible, so you have to enter a wildcard in the box like this *.* and press enter.

I have provided a screenshot of me putting it in the box because you have the IQ of a used condom, Dipshit.

Your video should be available now genius.

STEP FOUR: Select the part of the video you want to make a .gif out of.

First, you’re going to click the box that says “Selected Range Only” on the left hand side. (highlighted in red, I heard bright colors attract simple minded people)

Then you drag the fucking cursor to part of the video where you want your gif to start. Don’t worry about it being too exact, we will have an opportunity to fix this later.

Now once you have your cursor on the part where you want the gif to start, HOLD SHIFT and drag the cursor to the part where you want the gif to end. You should see a little dark shaded area between the start and finish of the areas you selected motherfucker. Look at the red box on the bottom of the screenshot below.

I added a picture of Stevie J in the corner because you wretched coons don’t have an attention span for anything that doesn’t involve hoodrat television.

STEP FIVE: It’s time to edit your gif. Trim unwanted frames, speed up or slow down the animation, add effects/filters, or add text.

This step is what makes Photoshop superior to web-based gif creators. You can do absolutely anything with your gif at this point. You can add in frames from multple different movies into one gif. Or pictures of you licking your lips or whatever the fuck you think people care about. The sky is the limit.

You should see a row of boxes at the bottom of the screen. If you don’t, click on “Window” then click “Animation” and it will pop up.

First, press the fucking play button to see how your gif turned out. If its too long or includes frames that you don’t want, click on the frame and then click the little trashcan icon at the bottom to delete it.

The second red box lets you tweak how fast or slow the gif will move. But you have to highlight all of the frames, not just one. Highlight them by holding shift and clicking the first and last frame.

Then you click the black arrow and adjust the times according to your tastes.

Cunt: But Perv, how do I add text to the photo?
Perv: Cunts are better seen and not heard. Too bad you weren’t this attentive during class or you wouldn’t be waiting to your parents to go to sleep so you can masturbate at night.

Look at the layer pallet on the right side of the screen. If you don’t see something that says “Layer”. Then click “window” at the top of the screen, then make sure “Layer” is checked.

Make sure the top layer is highlighted. This is crucial.

Secondly, make sure the first animation frame is selected.

Now you can add your text and finish up the .gif. Ok so we can save it now and-

Cunt: But Perv, I don’t see where you add the text
Perv: Jesus fucking christ do I have to hold your hand through everything? its the button that says “T” on it…. on the left hand side of the screen. I wonder if I can get community service hours for working with the mentally retarded after instructing you through this.

Now you can put “Tastycakes69” in the corner of your piece of shit .gif so nobody steals it. God forbid society moves on without the knowledge of who made a looping animation of Beyonce winking into the camera.

STEP SIX: Lets save this bitch

Make sure you select “save for web” and not the regular save button, it will bring up a new box with a bunch of buttons that surely confuse an airheaded dunce like you.

Are you losing focus already? Do I have to insert a picture of a fucking snapback and fake Wiz Khalifa quotes or do you think you can make it through this last step?

In the bottom left hand corner you’ll see that. It will let you know the size of your gif. If you’re going to post the gif on tumblr it needs to be under 1MB.

Secondly, in the bottom right hand corner you’ll see the size. Tumblr has trouble with gifs over 500 pixels in width. So make sure its smaller than that.

Lastly, you can use this Lossy slider to degrade the quality of the gif and make the filesize smaller. The further you slide it to the right, the shittier your gif is going to look. But sometimes you have to do that in order to get the size under 1 megabyte.

You’re done, motherfucker.

Don’t say I never gave you nothing.