King Jaffe Joffer

Just got a phone call regarding my application & credit check for the new apartment

She was like, “this is the apartment manager on such and such street, I showed you a unit yesterday afternoon.”

And I was like

And then she was like, “Aww damn Perv God, your credit score was over 9,000 Perv God. Equifax 42,000,000 Perv God. A hunnit on your dick, thirty on your dick, please father my children. Swag Swag Kevin Nash. 

And I said, “You God damn right, and I would like my unit to have a clear view of the southern sky for installation of my satellite equipment. I am a social outcast hermit who requires a 99.9999% uptime rating on my television signal.”

She was like, “anything for you Daddy, shall I shave my vagina now?”

And I was like, “That’s not necessary you halfwit, I am not moving in until June 1st. You have thirty-three days to prepare my sleeping quarters”. 

Then I just dropped the phone. Pressing “end call” is for suckaz. 

I suspect it took her anywhere between 8 and 19 seconds to realize I forcefully ceased our interaction. 

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11. robbiebelafonte1982 said: lmmfaoooo… this is how i wanna be when i grow up.
12. robbiebelafonte1982 reblogged this from kingjaffejoffer
13. tankslaps reblogged this from kingjaffejoffer and added:

    Hahahaha

14. tankslaps likes this
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17. prenniepren likes this
18. thanoslair said: Swag Swag Kevin Nash … Wolfpac in the house!
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25. pikashew531 said: No mames! jajajahahahaha…..got me laughing in English and Spanish
26. lacquerandcandy reblogged this from kingjaffejoffer and added:

    Stooopid lmao

27. arcadepizzaparty likes this
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30. ummomi reblogged this from manif3stlove
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32. chilledoutguidetolife reblogged this from killevveryone
33. sha-musiic reblogged this from manif3stlove and added:

    LMAO

34. miaminative reblogged this from killevveryone and added:

    Lmao

35. theedjcagedbird reblogged this from manif3stlove
36. debothenegro reblogged this from killevveryone
37. spicycurrybread reblogged this from killevveryone
38. qsolifted likes this
39. saraisins said: LMAO! Will you please perform at a city near me…pretty please. I will even pass out flyers…
40. yung-shiva reblogged this from suckonthedickimashark
41. psychosheik reblogged this from killevveryone and added:

    LIKE A BOSS!

42. dearestsprout reblogged this from kingjaffejoffer and added:

    You sir, are a hot ass mess…and I love it! lol

43. thetoolazytothinkupacoolnameblog likes this
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45. morphinginthepuhsea said: lololololololololol
46. basicbitchesbeware said: this nigga right here -_-
47. itsgreeeen likes this
48. bougiegirlgrabmyhand said: lol
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